Series: Vampire Knight
Summary: When Yuuki turns back into a pure blood, she doesn’t just get memories back. She loses all the ones she had as a human.
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight.
“Brother?” I looked up at the young man staring down at me with blood dripping from his mouth.
“That’s right. So you finally remember?”
I started to cry. It was good to see my brother again but I was really confused, like something else was missing. A huge chunk of my heart still felt empty.
“Where am I?”
My brother’s eyes widened in shock but then he looked at me with a gentle gaze and patted my head.
“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we are going home.”
I smiled and grabbed onto him in a warm embrace. It felt like I had been away from home for a long time but I didn’t really understand why. “Okay, Brother.”
He picked me up and carried me away but before we were completely away from the unfamiliar rooftop, I got a strong smell of blood that felt so very familiar to me.
Shaking, I grabbed my brother’s arm to try and hold back whatever feeling was trying to surface.
“It’s okay, Yuuki. When we get home I will give you my blood.”
I calmed down slightly knowing that it would help. He was the man I loved. At least I was pretty sure he was the man I loved, yet something didn’t feel quite right.
“Yuuki, I will be heading out now.”
I stood at the end of the stairway as I watched my brother get ready to leave our house.
“Okay, Brother. See you soon.”
My brother turned to me and gave me a sad look.
“Yuuki, haven’t we discussed this? When are you going to stop calling me Brother?”
I looked down at the floor. It had been a year since he took me away. Over that year I had realized that my appearance was different from what I remembered. I was somehow older than the last time I saw my brother. He had to explain to me that I had been living as a human for the past four years and that the awakening to my true self must have erased my human memories.
I didn’t really understand it all but I knew he was not lying. I could taste it in his blood and I could feel it in my soul that I was missing something very important.
I tried my best to forget about it and move on but there was a part of me that seemed to refuse to let it go and I wondered if it was my human side.
“I’m sorry, Kaname.”
I smiled at him and he returned the smile as he came up to give me a farewell kiss.
I blushed slightly and he laughed. “After all this time you still blush.”
I didn’t say anything and didn’t even look him in the eye. I knew he was supposed to be my lover even though he was my brother. I knew that it was the most natural thing to do for pure blood vampires. Yet, something inside of me screamed that it just wasn’t right.
So when he would kiss me so lightly and treat me as more than just a sibling, I got terribly uncomfortable. I did my best to hide it but I think he knew since he never pushed much more.
“Yuuki, are you lonely?”
I looked up in surprised to hear him ask that. His gaze was strong and unwavering so I just couldn’t lie.
“Yes. A little.”
He said nothing more and turned back towards the door.
“I will be back in a few days. Stay safe my dear Yuuki.”
He walked out the door and my face scrunched up in slight annoyance. He told me to be safe but I was already being as safe as possible.
When we had arrived back at the house a year ago he told me I would still have to be hiding underground. At first I didn’t want to complain but I couldn’t understand why I would have to go back after being out for four years.
He must have understood my look of confusion because then he told me that it was because someone was after my life. My family was keeping my existence a secret for that reason and now that I had woken up from being a human others would sense me so I had to go back into hiding.
I said nothing more at that point and didn’t even complain to him about it because I was confused enough as it was and figured it would be easier to handle if my world seemed smaller. Plus, he had told me why my parents weren’t around that they had done all this to protect me and died in my stead.
However, after a year of being confined I almost couldn’t take it anymore. I hardly got any contact with people except for the small handful of high class vampires that my brother trusted. One was a young boy named Aidou who always treated me a little different then anyone else. I was glad that he was my tutor because I hated being treated like a princess.
He felt more like a friend than a servant.
I wondered if Kaname knew he would be this way towards me and that is why he let him tutor me. If that was true I was grateful.
It was thanks to him that I was finally able to come up into the surface part of the house. I could at least look out the window from time to time and see the sky.
Still, it wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I wanted to see the outside world and meet new people. I wanted to see the place where I had first woken up a year ago and try to piece together some forgotten memories.
I had mentioned that to my brother once and he had gotten a little mad and told me to never go to that place again. It startled me to see him like that because he was always very kind to me except when it came to keeping me trapped like a bird in a cage.
I wanted to break free. I wanted to fly.
I looked outside and saw a big black dog sitting outside on the porch. I knew that the dog was basically my brother. It was his way of saying he had his eye on me. He told me it was for my protection but I couldn’t help but feel like my collar just got tighter and my leash got shorter.
Today was going to be the day I would do it though.
I had been planning this for the past few months, trying to figure out my escape route and when my brother would be gone for more than just a day.
I knew he would notice my being gone soon but at least I could get a few hours of freedom. Then I would gladly take any punishment.
I got to my room and changed into some more appropriate escape clothes. For some reason my brother loved to see me dressed up in pretty dresses and heels. I didn’t hate it but for some reason I felt more comfortable in casual clothes and boots.
Once I was changed I walked downstairs to the part of the house where I spent a lot of my life. I tried to avoid it as much as possible ever since I was able to live on the top part but every now and then I had to go back down.
It was on a happy accident that I found my perfect escape route. Just before the door to the underground house, there was a smaller door to the right. I opened it out of curiosity once and saw it was just a simple room, more like a realistic basement. It was probably a way to camouflage the underground house.
What I noticed the most was this bright stream of sunlight. It wasn’t completely underground. There were some stairs leading to an exit and window that left barely enough space for me to squeeze through. I knew the exit would be locked so the only option I had was the window.
I walked toward the window and grabbed the boxes nearby to stand on. Once I get good enough leverage I used all my vampire strength to open the window since it had obviously been a really long time since it had been opened.
It budged and I slowly opened it, trying not to make much sound to alert my brother’s guard.
I squeezed myself through, trying my best not to get to dirty but it proved to be a lot more difficult than I had imagined.
Still, I was determined to do it.
I grunted slightly as I got the last biggest part of my body through. If anyone could see me now they would faint from shock. Purebloods were never supposed to act this way. To see me crawl on the dirt and grunt was really a crazy thing.
I was finally free. I could smell the sweet pine trees and feel the slight warm breeze on my exposed skin. It was wonderful! I didn’t even mind the fact that the sun was a little bit harsh on my eyes. It was all too beautiful to let such a small thing bother me.
Feeling all sorts of new energy I took off in the direction I was sure to find the building that looked like a school from the books I had to read about.
I moved swiftly, barely making any noise so not to alert anyone.
I really had no idea how far away this building would be though. I knew that was bad planning on my part but it wasn’t like I could ask.
I had a feeling that if I just listened to my instincts then I would find it on my own.
After about an hour of walking I was starting to get really tired. Perhaps I had misjudged my stamina. I start to get worried about where I was and how I was going to get back. I was also starting to feel hungry but not just for food.
Everything around me was starting to seem darker and scarier. All the fears that I never had inside my house finally started to get to me. Realization of just how stupid I was being was finally starting to hit.
I fell to the floor and gasped as I try my best to regain my composure. It was not the time to have a panic attack. The sun was still out and I wasn’t that far from home. If I just calmed down my craving would settle and then I would be able to turn back around and go back home.
I was almost tempted to call for my brother to take me back but I decided against it. He would just use it against me in the future.
Just when I thought I had calmed down I heard a loud crack noise from behind me.
My heart started to pound loudly in my chest.
I was suddenly thinking back to all the lessons Aidou taught me, about how the world is filled with vampires, humans, and vampire hunters. The vampire hunters really hated us vampires and even though they had rules on who they could kill, sometimes it didn’t matter.
I prayed to God that it would just be a human but at the same time I worried for the human because of my blood lust. I didn’t want to accidently create another vampire that would need to rely on me. That would not go over well with my brother. Especially since he told me I would only ever need his blood because he was the one I loved.
I had to wonder why I never felt fully satisfied after drinking from him though. For the longest time I thought it was just because it had been so long so I needed to play catch up but now I was thinking I might not love him like I was suppose to.
The person was getting closer and I was getting more and more frightened. I wanted to get up and run but my legs wouldn’t let me.
Finally the person came out from behind the bushes and I was shocked by his appearance.
He was a young boy, very good looking with white-silver hair and purple-gray eyes. Something about the way he was staring at me had me puzzled but I felt a little more relaxed until I looked down and noticed a gun in his hand.
He was a vampire hunter! I was completely doomed.
“Uh… I…” Feeling completely overwhelmed I blurted out the dumbest thing that no pure blood would truly say.
“Please don’t kill me!”
When I looked back at his face I saw an expression of pain and sadness.
My eyes widened in shock. How did this vampire hunter know my name when no one was suppose to know about me?
Feeling a little more strength in my legs again I stood up and turned all the way toward him. Something about him felt very familiar and I wondered if he was someone I knew from my lost memories.
“Do I know you?” I started to walk toward him but he pointed his gun at me and I froze. I didn’t like that gun. I could tell that it would hurt a lot if he shot me with it.
“You are supposed to be dead!”
I was surprised by his sudden outburst.
“Why aren’t you running away?”
I looked at his face filled with anguish and back down at his gun. He had a point. I could probably outrun him. He was just a mere human while I was a pure blood but for some reason I held my ground.
“I think-” I paused, almost afraid to say it. “I think it is because I don’t feel like you will kill me.”
He put his gun down and started to laugh but it was not a happy one. I could sense all the turmoil in it and actually it was a laugh that should have made my skin crawl. Almost as if he was mocking me but for some reason I knew that could not be the case.
“Do we know each other?” I asked again because I desperately wanted to find out. I wanted to know why, when I saw this man, I felt fear, excitement, and pain all at once.
My heart was back to pounding loudly only it was not because I was scared this time. I felt so many things, but the biggest one was a desire for this man. I really wanted to drink his blood.
I walked up closer to him but this time he did not stop me. I was glad but also disappointed because I was sort of hoping he would help stop me.
His hand rose up and I stopped, thinking he might be trying to push me away or reach for my neck to kill me but his hand reached my face and he gently placed it on my cheek.
I stiffened from the contact but I did not move away. My heart felt like it would burst and I can feel tears wanting to stream down. I kept them in check though. A pure blood is never supposed to cry in front of others.
“I do know you, don’t I?”
He looked me in the eyes and I could feel a small part of all the emotions he was trying to keep in check.
“It is you, Yuuki. I can’t believe- where have you been?”
Even though I did not really understand, I went ahead and explained to him where I have been and why.
His eyes showed sadness but then rage at the mention of my brother. I was surprised by his reaction. “Are you okay?”
He calmed down but then pulled away from me. “Go back home.”
I was confused by his sudden change in behavior. It seemed I was destined to be confused all day today or perhaps all of my life.
“We do not belong around each other. That is why Kuran took you away into hiding.”
I begin to panic. I didn’t want him to pull away. He was my only sliver of hope for my forgotten memories. I wasn’t sure if I would ever get another chance like this.
“No wait! Please, at least tell me your name.”
He stopped and hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure giving his name out was a good idea. I hoped over and over that he did tell me and that it was his real name. Then I might have a chance to find him again.
Something inside me clicked and I was filled with an overwhelming sense of sadness. I tried to tell myself I wasn’t allowed to cry but the tears were overflowing my eyes without any effort. I shook as I held onto my own self, trying to get back in control.
I looked up to see the shape of Zero through my tears. He was all blurry but I could still tell he was really shocked. That was when he grabbed on to his head and fell to the floor as if he was in a lot of pain.
Worried, I walk towards him. “Zero? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
My tears were still falling and my heart still ached but seeing him like that gave me the extra strength to go to him. When I reached him he pushed me away with a strength I never would have imagined a human having.
I noticed a strange tattoo on his neck as it started to glow and looked at his eyes to see that they were no longer purple-gray but a deep red. It dawned on me that this man was no human. He was a Vampire and a very powerful one from what I could sense.
Strangely I could sense a lot of things in his power that was all so familiar.
Still, it was unheard of that a vampire would be a vampire hunter. I had learned that all vampire hunters who were accidently bitten by a pureblood would always kill themselves instead of living like a vampire. So that would mean he changed before he was a vampire hunter or he was always a vampire.
Somehow I could sense that he was once human. Perhaps it was because I did not realize he was a vampire as soon as I saw him. I was tricked by his human form and wave. He must have held on so hard to his human sense, just like how I felt from time to time.
I knew what was wrong with him now though. It was the same problem I was having before he found me. He was craving blood.
I moved closer to him. This time he was too distracted to push me away. I ripped off the fabric that was around my neck and scratched it slightly so a little trickle of blood appeared. He looked angry but the desire was more powerful than his anger. He sank his teeth into my flesh and I could feel the blood rush into his mouth and onto my skin. He was so desperate that it was hard for him to keep from making a mess.
I held onto him, clinging to him as he continued to drink my blood. It was the first time I had done this, my brother would drink my blood from time to time but for some reason this felt so much more intense. Something about this position and the feeling of him in my arms felt so right. I couldn’t remember who Zero was in my mind but I did remember him from my touch.
When he was finished he came back up and I stared into his eyes, not saying a word and not pulling away. He was breathing as heavy as I was. Almost as if we had just made love and I begin to blush slightly. I couldn’t believe I had thought that.
I was on a strange high though and out of sheer curiosity I moved closer to this mouth and licked the lower part of his chin that was covered in my blood. The taste of my own blood was nothing new to me. I had tasted it many times out of desperation to quench my own thirst only to be lectured about it from Aidou.
I stopped at his lips as I gently pressed my mouth to his.
I was glad that he doesn’t seem to be pushing me away. I was doing everything in my power to try and not bite him in return. It was so very difficult because of the smell of my own blood and the fact that I seemed to be really craving him. Being this close to him brought back such a nostalgic and familiar scent that I couldn’t smell anything but him.
Realizing that I was about to give in, I pulled away and looked away from him to try and regain my composure.
However, I was surprised when I felt his hand grab my chin and pull my mouth back to his. I was even more shocked by the new taste, it was his blood. He had bitten his own lip before placing it on mine.
I was very excited now. My thirst was getting out of control. The craving was stronger than anything I had ever felt before, even more than when I would crave for my brother’s blood.
I pulled away from his lips and reached for his neck, but on the other side of his tattoo. I got the strangest feeling that the side with the tattoo would be a horrible mistake. I pierced his skin and as soon as I tasted the warm liquid my body shook and quivered in ecstasy.
I had never felt that way before but I liked it. I held on to him tightly and he held me back. When I started to calm down, images and feelings started to pour into me. I had almost forgotten that you could read someone’s thoughts and emotions when drinking their blood. I wondered shortly what he saw when he bit me.
What I was seeing in him was very intense. I saw images of his attack at such a young age and I saw myself as a young girl taking care of him. I then saw, over and over again, images of me with shorter hair. I was smiling and I was free. I also seemed to do all that I could to help save him, yet I also looked afraid of something, probably because I wasn’t sure who or what I was.
The tears in my eyes started to come back when I finally realized who he is. My memories that had been missing for over a year came rushing back into me and I finally felt that empty place in my heart fill up.
I pulled away from him before I drank too much and looked at his face again. He wasn’t really showing any expression so if I hadn’t drank his blood I would never have known just how much love he had for me.
“Zero.” My voice cracked slightly. I grabbed him and clung to him in a tight hug.
I think he was a little confused but then he grabbed me back.
“I can’t believe- I have missed you so much! How could I have forgotten you?”
I was shaking from happiness. I couldn’t believe he was the missing part of me. The one I truly loved, the cause of my vampire self not being able to let go of my human self. It was all because of him.
I made a pathetic pureblood vampire as my sobs got messier. I was sure my face looked like a wreck.
“I don’t want to ever leave your side again.”
He stiffened in my hold and I realized what I had just said. I had never told him something like that before so he probably thought I always wanted to be with my brother and only him.
“I’m so sorry Zero. I’m sorry and I will understand if you don’t forgive me or don’t want to see me again.”
I finally felt him relax as he pulled away slightly. He brought his hand up to my cheek and wiped away the tears. “I could never want that, Yuuki.”
My heart thumped slowly in the warmth I saw in his eyes. If I thought he looked handsome before, then he was even more so at that moment. “What now?”
“We run away.”
We both stood as he said this. I smiled at him. “I’m all for it but my brother will realize I’m gone soon and he will do everything in his power to try and find me.”
“Then we will just have to keep running and worry about what to do after the fact.”
I grabbed his hand and we took off. I had no idea where we were going or how the rest of my life was going to go but I couldn’t have cared less. I was finally with the man I loved and nothing was going to stop me or get in my way. Even if that meant I was going to have to fight my brother, my only family member left that I still had some love for.
Perhaps it could be talked out and things could go back to being happy but somewhere in the back of my head I knew that I was just thinking selfishly. There was no way the two of them would ever be able to get along, not even for my sake.
It really was going to have to be something we would worry about later. No use worrying about it now. I just wanted to be happy and enjoy the moments I had with Zero.